Eckhart Tolle – Can We Trust Our Feelings and Intuition?

 

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can we trust our feelings can be trust
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our somatic reading of life are you able
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to say something about intuition which
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is not the same but interests me as well
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can we trust our feelings now often you
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hear people say trust your feelings I
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would suggest however that that’s not
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necessarily true
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acknowledge your feelings yes be there
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as the observing presence for your
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feelings yes be aware of your feelings
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accept that they are there trust which
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means to take them to be the truth or
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the truth for you or using them as a
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guide to correct or skillful action that
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may be doubtful because it depends where
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these feelings arise in you a little
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anecdote from my life to illustrate that
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when I lived in England in the country
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in that alternative town Glastonbury for
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three years I lived in a cottage and
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once a month I would travel to London or
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other cities in my beloved Russian made
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Lada car
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err to do a workshop and usually a
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weekend workshop called things like
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transcending time or be here now nothing
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much has changed except that might the
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average number of people had was about
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ten
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and since of my income was not enough I
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had to rent out a room upstairs my
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cottage so I have over these three years
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three years a few people it was a second
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room which I also also cage near I
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thought anyway the room became vacant I
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advertise in the local local paper
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several people came to apply and and
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finally chose a young woman who had just
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been offered a job in that town she came
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she moved in and after the first night
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in her room she came down for breakfast
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into the kitchen which was a sad kitchen
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and she said I can’t stay here what’s
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wrong it’s just it’s just a feeling and
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I’ve always listened to my feelings I
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just I just can’t say it there’s
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something not right so it’s very nervous
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and I say okay that’s fine and that she
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found that very disconcerting because
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she had it expected a more conventional
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response which would have been what I’ve
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to interview tour all these people have
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chosen you and now what you doing this
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to me
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and you’re not getting your rent money
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back that you paid in advance
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but I said okay I’ll give you a money
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back it’s fine so she was even more
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confused after that
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and I said oh he said I’ve spent one
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more night or two more nights she spends
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the second night and then in the morning
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she said no I think I’ll stay I have a
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different feeling now and I said oh
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that’s fine that’s good and again she
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was a little disconcerted because the
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convention response would have been
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which I did too I just put another ad in
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the paper and now you’re telling me this
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this this is how to make the
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conventional responses are how to make
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life complicated for yourself and others
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but it’s normal it’s how the ego
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responds and so whenever somebody does
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not respond in that way life becomes
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simple but when life becomes simple
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people who expect the conventional
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responses become confused this is a
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beard person and so she decided to stay
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and a few weeks later when I got to know
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her better she explained to me that the
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that first night she was in her bedroom
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and she said I found you so weird that
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ice I thought you might creep in in the
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middle of the night and murder here
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[Music] 06:05
and later he said living in the same
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house with you is like living in a float
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tank I think she learned a lot not so
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much through me explaining things to her
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just by being there not that she didn’t
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go through her episodes of neurotic
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reactivity which is quite normal for
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most people but that’s fine
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so feelings you know where did have hurt
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the initial feelings that she
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experienced that she that she then
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believes that they were a correct guide
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for action of course they were not
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because they originated in fear and they
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were also originated in a
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misinterpretation of reality which is so
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easy to do for the mind to misinterpret
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another person to misinterpret a
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situation you misinterpret because you
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see it through the conditioning of your
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mind you see it through your beliefs
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your prior experiences in childhood you
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see it through even other things that
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have conditioned your mind maybe even
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scary movies about weird people who
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don’t say much
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and then just when you’re having a
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shower they creep in so the it is not
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therefore it’s not that easy often to
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say where does this feeling that I have
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arise where does this feeling originate
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now does it come from a deeper the
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intuitive place the intuition comes out
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of being present intuition is not does
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not come out of the conditioning of your
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mind so if you have if you have an
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intuition also it is usually not tainted
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by negativity such as anger or fear so
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there’s something certain about it there
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is a quiet strength behind your feeling
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a quiet strength there’s not a nervous
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energy behind your feeling it’s more you
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just know this is this is right you may
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not be able to explain to yourself or
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others why as a different quality
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there’s a more a peaceful quality to it
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now let’s just imagine to come back to
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the the story that happened with this
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young woman of course it could have been
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that theoretically I could have been a
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psycho and actually could not be trusted
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not to kill her theoretically that’s
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possible
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so I don’t know what the what the answer
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to this is but the I know from my own
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life whenever there is a deep
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realization of what the right course of
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action is it is always there’s a peace
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with it and even if there’s a cycle
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there you know in a you know with
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absolute certainty that this is not
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right for you there’s an energetic
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imbalance which comes from a deeper
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place but I cannot really explain in
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words you have too few life experience
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you have to find out for yourself what a
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deeper feeling that comes out of
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presence and it is a true intuition how
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it is different from something that is
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that arises from the conditioning of
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your mind now a lot of the time people
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misinterpret reality because they look
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at reality through the veil of their
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conditioning and that that contributes
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to a huge amount of conflict in life in
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relationships and so on and not only
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they misinterpret they add this what I
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call unnecessary baggage to situations
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through their reactivity which is an ego
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device in order to strengthen the egos
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always deficient sense of identity so
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coming back again to that story well it
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happened if I had reacted in the normal
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way becoming angry and accusing her when
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she said after one night she couldn’t
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stay and they
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that would have strengthened the it
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would have come from my ego it would
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have strengthened my sense of self the
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separate sense of self and again the if
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the reaction had been when she finally
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decided just after the second night
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decided to stay
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I could have seconds that I’ve just
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spent I mean it wasn’t that much an ad
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in the local paper it was relatively
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cheap but the ego would have dwelt on
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that and said no I’ve spent that and all
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these people that I already said they
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couldn’t come now they have they have
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already found accommodation I would have
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again made summaries wrong and the ego
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loves that to make somebody wrong
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because when you make somebody wrong and
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you would be the ego could even explain
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you a totally justified because that’s
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not fair the person shouldn’t just
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change like that she’s just but instead
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of saying of how people showed me a few
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just did this is what is you can either
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accept it or you cannot I could have
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said also in practical terms that when
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after the second night she said I’ve
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decided to stay I could have said oh
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it’s too late I’ve already had found
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somebody else or it said no it may be
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but it maybe it’s better if you do go
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because tomorrow night you might again
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from after tomorrow you might again not
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wants to stay all these things are
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possible but the situation remained
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simple because of non reactivity and
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this applies to so many cases whenever
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there’s some kind of things do not go
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smoothly because a person does not do
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what they’re supposed to do and then
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immediately the ego constructs a
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narrative and you know it when you start
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telling other people about it it
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strengthens it so I could have picked up
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the phone and said you know I had this
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this girl I’ve I’d rejected five other
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people for her know what she’s done to
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me
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under listenin tell the story it’s so
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satisfying to the ego and then we
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personally are the other answers oh my
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god you search through and then of
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course the you and I could have gone
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into thinking oh maybe she’s she’s
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totally neurotic maybe she’s a psycho
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all the spinning tales in the head all
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kinds of things this a whole fictitious
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narratives that are taken from reality
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that’s how simple things can actually be
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if you don’t add unnecessary reactivity
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to it but in order to do that it
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requires you to be present not to be a
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part not to be there’s a person because
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a person feels easily offended so if
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you’re there’s a person you get offended
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a lot if you go on the internet you’ll
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find that the world is full of people
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who are deeply offended
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and they can explain mine it looks
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sounds totally reasonable
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the ego loves being offended I’m not
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denying that there may be some remarks
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that are truly offenses but that’s a
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relatively small thing and if it is
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something truly offensive again what
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could she have said what that was truly
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if and she could have said I can’t stay
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with you because you are too ugly
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now to the ego that would be offensive
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or she might have said well she happened
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to be white but you’ve not been watching
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it I said I’ve just
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I finally I have this feeling I cannot
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stay with a white male okay vigilance is
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required in your interactions with
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people what is the question am i adding
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something to the interaction that is
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unnecessary that is just there to
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strengthen my fictitious sense of self
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to justify some to make somebody wrong
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big thing for the ego because if I if I
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can make something wrong there’s always
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an element of victimhood when I make
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somebody wrong in relation to myself
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there’s always an element of it may not
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be the main focal point but there’s an
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element of me being the victim if I make
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you wrong and the ego loves that because
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it strengthens itself through that and
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if I make somebody wrong you know what
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he said and what he did then let me tell
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you about this oh how can somebody do
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something like that
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and this means unconsciously I’m always
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superior to the other when this happens
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when you’re telling the story about what
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somebody didn’t say to you you do it
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because the ego when you’re telling when
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you’re making somebody wrong because
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when you are right now you prove you
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probably all know people in your life
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when they talk when you tell when they
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tell you things it’s always others who
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are wrong it’s never then it’s very
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strange why is it that I am always right
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and others are
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as long they never asked that question
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but that is a mystery of human existence
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one of the great mysteries of life is
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why I am always right and others are
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always wrong
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I think philosophers haven’t explored
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yet in detail enough and nobody has
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resolved this mystery and everybody
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should ask themselves how is that I must
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be really superior to everybody weird so
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if you think back the last year or two
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or three in your life well I’m actually
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talking to a group of people here who
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are more much more conscious than the
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average human
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but nevertheless even here some of you
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may find if you look back the last few
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years that whenever there was some kind
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of argument or conflict perhaps it was
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was it always the others who were wrong
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it’s very easy to deny somebody’s
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perspective if it conflicts with your
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own and make them totally wrong you can
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also make a group of people totally
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wrong an entire group entire nation an
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entire religion you can make everybody
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wrong it’s great field strong guidance
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of morally superior now does that mean
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there are not people who are deeply
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wrong because they might give them maybe
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people out to deceive you
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you might go and want to you might go
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and wise buy a second-hand car into the
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person is so friendly and kind and he
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sells you some
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that’s just break stuff down the next
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day and you get clearly lied to you what
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do you do then and even then it’s
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important not to amplify what has
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happened by going into your mind and
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creating a whole string of narratives in
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your mind of what an awful person that
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is and coming to all kinds of
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conclusions about that and tell the
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story to yourself and to others and
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amplify it in that way and then you go
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back to him and and then you you tell
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him really what you think of him rather
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than keep it simple what what action can
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I take to remedy this even if you go to
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court you can do it in a detached way
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I’m not society saying never to do
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anything just put up with anything in
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anybody it’s just it’s not what it means
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even if you go to court in order to
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rectify a situation that is obviously
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too wrong you can do it in a way that is
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detached and just keeps it to thee just
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the essentials of the situation
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practical without the whole
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superstructure of you are the evil one
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you are wrong you all I won’t repeat it
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here but I think you may all remember
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the story I told I believe it’s in a new
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earth about the Zen master who was
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accused of having fathered a child and
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what his responses were at every stage
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of the process is that so now that’s an
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interesting so did you if you may
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remember the parents accused him that he
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was the father of their daughter’s child
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and then the pranced brought the baby to
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him and at each stage when he was
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the parents told him something you are
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the father you is that so
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you bring the bit now you look after the
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baby
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we don’t want it you’re the father and
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he had lost his reputation etc people
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were commenting about him on the
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internet and he did not participate in
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the story making and he didn’t defend
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himself and he didn’t interesting ok so
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it means a total refusal to go into any
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kind of story
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cut is that so yeah and finally it all
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became resolved resolved itself the
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daughter confessed that he was not the
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father and so on and the parents came
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wanted to baby back please give us the
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baby back we now know that oh you’re not
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the father
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please forgive us we did a terrible
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thing by accusing you terrible thing is
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that so
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ok that is that whether this story
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actually ever happened I don’t know
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whether it’s just a teaching story or
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actually happened but it doesn’t matter
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it’s it shows you in the extreme form of
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not being engaged in a story not
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engaging in the story making that is
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that is ego strengthening so you can
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practice that in many many situations in
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your life refrain from calling up people
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or telling our people what other people
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and tell them about what other people
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did wrong or how they failed how they
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were deficient how somebody lied to you
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most dishonest or expressed an
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objectionable opinion and then conflict
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becomes almost eliminated from your life
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or 90% of it
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[Music]

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